"People walk around today calling everyone their best friend. The term doesn't have any real meaning anymore. Mere acquaintances are lavished with hugs and kisses upon a second or at most third meeting, birthday cards get passed around offices so everybody can scribble a snippet of sentimentality for a colleague they barely met, and everyone just loves everyone. As a result when you tell somebody you love them today, it isn't much heard. I love you Denny, you are my best friend. I can't imagine going through life without you as my best friend." ~ Alan Shore (Boston Legal)

its been a huge rollercoaster of lessons in life, in corporate, in work.
i threw my dice, and i'm back at square one.

but to aimless, directionless - lost.

its time to make decisions, that will pave the rest of my life.
but why is it so difficult?
which way is the right way?
which job is the right job for me?

i just want to have fun.
do what i do best.
give the most i can
because i enjoy it.

its not meant to be so difficult
thats why we went to university.
its meant to pave our future, but not for me.
it just eliminated one direction, amongst the ten thousand others.

oh please. just show me what it is!

so here i am.
back in this place that i call home.
its been a while now. and i've left time to pass.

but my reality is evident.
how is it i sit here without a purpose,
idle when it comes to this.

i busy myself with lives many distractions.
is it to run away?
am i afraid?
or am i still lost.

i shouldn't have to go through this alone.
if not next to me
you should be there for me.

but you're not.

then whats the point?

i don't know how much longer i can wait.
i don't know how much more i can give.

months? weeks? days? hours?
more like minutes. seconds.

i hold on to the end of the thread.
but i can't for much longer.

its taking its toll on me.

you've got to throw me a life-buoy or i'll never make it through.
we.
its too hard. and i'm not surviving this very well...

if only you had time to see.
if only time allowed it.
new decisions and plans have to constructed.

i need that little bit more. now.